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peanuts make me throw up.

Now tell me Baby Nikita isn't the most adorable kid you've seen in a really long time.
That's her having her very first 'swim'.

Who knew I could whack an entire Fillet-O-Fish in 30 seconds flat eh? I had no idea I could chew so fast.

Its hard NOT being in a relationship. I've been wondering why this year has been oh so damn difficult for me, and I've realised I don't really have anyone to lean on anymore. I'm so used to having a shoulder to cry on, and big big hugs from people I manage to convince myself I'm in love with, if only for a month or two. Everytime something's gone wrong I've always had someone around. To distract me I guess. Like keep my mind off all the awfulness. Its just so completely different now, having not only to take care of me, but everyone else as well. Everyone's so lost, and I've to find them while searching for me.

I hate it when I start to get all philosophical/confused.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I miss you. And before everyone starts yelling at me, no its not him. No way am I putting myself through that again. Its one of the other hims, as Glenn so eloquently puts it. Oh well, its not like he'll ever know. I doubt he reads this anymore.

Oh god, I've become the mascot for desperation.

I guess we just have to thank God she went peacefully right? Its weird, I know I should be mourning and like deep in sorrow, but all I feel is this great sense of calm. Grandma was in so much pain in her last few days, and we were all just pretty much praying that it'd happen this way. I guess I was kinda expecting it, I couldn't sleep the entire night that day.

Anyway, wake's at St. Joseph's Church, I think till Saturday. Obituary's in the papers if anyone needs more details. Come on down if you can make it okay? I'm starting to really, finally appreciate all these moments spent with everyone I love.

I loved all her eccentricity. She was always such a joy to be around, even when she was pulling down all my skanky tops and maluating me in front of countless relatives/priests. I won't be selfish and wish she was still here, she's not in pain anymore, and that's really all anyone can hold on to now.

I was so happy when I found out we could miss an hour of Mr whatever, cause we had to do some Hong Kong thing. The whole time I was under the impression that it was some talk about Hong Kong. Turns out its some fucking PRIMARY SCHOOL TEST. It was some english test, where we had to take data from some big chunk of research on robotics of all things, and turn it into a letter. I haven't done letter writing in a few thousand years also you know. And the english was so utterly terrible in all the data given. Like what kind of english test is this. And it was oh so long too. Bitch cracked me up with the I am Terry Lau thing though. Funny Funny.

Two weeks notice is a dumb show.

I'm getting mentally prepared for backlash from barely doing anything for i learn. Yikes.

Rubbish-ness abound.

Marathon shopping yesterday. With mama and Aunty Daisy. Not as terrible as I imagined. Okay maybe the Mama bit. I didn't meet that many people. A first for a towning experience. We spent way too much. I would do pictures, but blogger seems to hate me and photos.

1. New Levi's.
2. Pink and purple stripey off shoulder top.
3. Pink beach shorts.
4. Brown formals.
5. White chinos.
6. Pink super comfy + super see-through shirt.
7. Green sequin shirt.
8. Massive huge belt.

Rough calculations done by me, who is terribly bad at math brings this up to $482. In one day. Yikes. I absolutely love love love the belt. It cost, $89.90 before discount, $71.20 after. And Aunty Daisy paid for it. AHHH. I am so completely in love with her for it. Even though she already got me this beautiful black formal bag for topping econs, she's pretty much going all out with it. Any excuse to shop is a good one right? And she says since she can't pull off big belts anymore, cause they're all supposed to emphasise skinny waists, she should give me the opportunity. Erm okay. I think its more her not having a daughter. She could totally adopt me. Okay maybe not. So anyway, the gist of it is, I will start going for more family functions, and not sulk when I'm forced to stay on for hours on end.

Among things mum refused to let me buy ,or pay for was this beautiful oversized yellow dress top at Zara. I don't often buy clothes from there, but this was so nice. And quite cheap lah. Like 30 or what. Which mum FORCES you to buy tight tight clothes and then criticises how fat you look in everything when you wear them after? I would have thought in the age of skimp-iness, oversized would be welcomed. Maybe not. Oh and she absolutely refused to fork out cash for the bikini, scolding me for not reminding Dell to return the last one. Sigh. Looks like I'm on my own for that one. Hopefully there aren't any beach outings for a while.

I learn day is, totally not touched. Went online and read the econs announcement and wanted to kill myself. Who's so free to click here click there? Bio gave us like I think 1 term's worth of work to read up on. I'm hoping and praying there's no geog. Anyway half my subjects aren't on Aspire, so can I claim to not be able to access?

I hate SR. I can't wait to marry my rich guy and go shopping everyday. Oh god I'm such a spoilt brat. Kill me now.

I wonder how guys tahan talking to me ALL NIGHT LONG. Especially when I still half sound like a man and launch into big coughing fits ever so often. Though I suppose Shane's always said if I were a guy he'd turn gay for me. Which never made sense because he's already so fucking gay. Maybe I should try the whole boob-binding thing. Not like they're that big to begin with, but its nice to go around saying 'My boobs grow too much wayy too fast so I've to bind them to stop them from taking over the world'. If only they would grow in a proportionate ratio to the hips. SOMEONE TELL ME WHY DOES INDIAN WOMAN SYNDROME ONLY KICK IN FOR THE LOWER HALF OF ME? I'm not demented, I swear. All my jeans are way too fucking tight now. I hate bending down. And Mama absolutely refuses to pay for new Levi's, even though my brother has 7 pairs that fits him perfectly fine and I have 2 that take about an hour for me to struggle into. Oh the tremendous denial I go through to convince myself I'm NOT putting on weight( I still wear IJ primary P.E shorts for P.E every week ).

Oh and I totally wanna kill myself. I forgot all about Roy Dupuis, possibly the only man to beat Wentworth Miller on the sex appeal. I will so totally make a new list and up it to like 50 so everyone stops calling me to ask why ... and ... isn't in it. And then taking forever to believe its me and not Adrian answering the phone. Maybe I should go back on the cough syrup that makes me sleep all day long. Maybe.

I'm gonna go on a Roy Dupuis spree. I'll watch the show all over again, yes all five seasons. Even though Peta Wilson is such a transvestite. Michael just exudes the sex appeal. Yikes. Maybe I should do math homework first. Tuition's only in like an hour. ARGH. I hate being a junior college kid.

Screaming out national day songs is BADDDD for sore throats. I felt so patriotic yesterday I'm disappointed in myself. Oh the horror. Yikes.

Site meter's jumping a bit too much for my liking eh. Makes you wonder who reads this rubbish.

We laboured for almost 2 hours on this list. I'm quite sure I spelt half the names wrong. I'm still really upset that Timothy Dalton didn't make it to the list. And Johnny Bravo. And Joakim. Bitch is upset George Clooney, Mel Gibson and Patrick the starfish didn't make it there. Violent objections from both sides.

The twenty hottest men we can think of.

20.Dave Navarro
19.Entire Spain Team
18.Amaury Nolasco
17.Andrew Firestone
16.Adam Levine
15.Mark Sloan
14.Johnny Depp
13.Jesse Metcalfe
12.Adam Brody
11.Keanu Reeves
10.Paul Walker
9. Chris Evans
8. Ryan Reynolds
7. Jude Law
6. Eric Mabius
5. Hugh Jackman
4. Ryan Phillipe
3. Collin Farrell
2. Josh Holloway












and number 1 is,














1. Wentworth Miller

Don't tell me you didn't expect Mr. Miller to be number 1.

In the spirit of story-telling, I've decided to concoct my own completely original, totally not plaigarised from anyone, little tale. Any resemblance to persons living or dead, or other stories you might find around is purely COINCIDENTAL.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, there was this group of female donkeys. This group of female donkeys had just moved to a new co-ed herd, and as they had all previously come from same sex herds, they were not used to this new atmosphere. Anyway, it was quite generally understood in this new herd of theirs, that the boys stuck together, and the girls stuck together.

These five female donkeys were the best of friends, doing everything together. They were completely content on doing everything with each other. However, as all these five donkeys had previously come from Christian herds, they had been instilled with morals and values such as compassion and kindness. So one day when they saw a lone male donkey, they decided to take pity on him and include this poor male donkey in their activities once in a while.

This male donkey seemingly had no other friends. He was very happy when these donkeys included him in their group, and was very nice and humble at first. However, this male donkey decided to take how he was surrounded by females all the time to his advantage, and this really annoyed the five female donkeys to no end. This male donkey started trying to act really cool in front of all the other male donkeys, pretending to be someone his loser self totally wasn't. He of course had no idea that all these other male donkeys were of course laughing at him constantly both behind his back and in front of him. This male donkey hung around the females every minute of everyday, and this annoyed them as they were unable to talk about female donkey things.

One day, these female donkeys really couldn't tahan the male donkey anymore, whose name was POPE by the way. They decided to write him a letter saying that they needed their own time without him. Little did they know that POPE would turn into every typical freaky male Indian donkey out there and turn all stalkerish. POPE also went around acting all pathetic so that all the other donkeys would take pity on him, and just make the five female donkeys feel bad for something that was completely not their fault. Of course it completely didn't work. Just cause they're donkeys doesn't mean they're totally stupid.

I've yet to come up with an ending for this. Part 2 some other time I guess. Anyway, disclaimer's on top. I just hope some people don't decide I've been 'messing around with the wrong people' and come whack me up.

Oh enough with the satire. Night folks.

Oh god. Why can't I ever meet a normal guy? Someone who's not completely fucked up. Argh its just so super annoying. I could do the whole I will swear off men thing again, but we all know those never last. Neither does I'm going for girls from now on. I wish I wasn't so straight. Sigh.

I have a really awful cough/sore throat thing going on and its so terrible. I sound like some transvestite or what. Yikes. Its like my voice is completely fluctuating between really high and freaky low. I suppose everyone's really happy. It hurts so much to talk that I'm finally shutting up for most of the time. Of course this means that I've finally started replying IMs. I have to converse in some form right?

Once again, I've managed to do an entire post about absolutely nothing. This is turning into rubbish post galore. I'm surprised the counter thing shows readers. Amazing really. Cough medicine's made me so ridiculously sleepy, I'm gonna sleep before 12 for the first time in ages. Even though I've already clocked in 16 hours for today. Bye everyone. If I happen to not wake up, I love most of you.

I think I might have to go to the dermatologist AGAIN. Serves me right I guess for letting the allergies get so out of control. I didn't go to Tekong today because I have acute atopic contact dermatitis which flares up around mosquitos and grass. And prawns, but ssshh.

Gimme one reason to stay here, and I'll turn right back around.

So many things to bitch about, way too little time. I so totally hate project work. Econs tutorial later on. Newspaper article thing due 2 weeks ago - Not done. Essay on elasticity - Not done. Econs file - Non-existant. Test on monopoly - Yikes. Oh and letter for friday. I feel like going late. Its first period anyway. At this rate, I'm gonna fail attendance also. The one thing I usually pass in my report book. Oh god. Kill me when I'm lame. What a rubbish post.




Will you keep loving me if I promise to stop fucking up all the time?